While watching pornos is usually an act most people choose to do solo, it has consequences that go well beyond just you. Watching porn can and does affect your partner, as well.
Two very respected pornography researchers, Professor Dolf Zillman and Professor Jennings Bryant both with the University of Alabama, have studied the effects of pornography and media for over 3 decades. They have found that when it comes to viewing pornography, nothing good can come of it. They issued a statement in which they said, “no rigorous research demonstrations of desirable effects can be reported.”
But while no good results have been found, several seriously damaging effects have been uncovered. From negatively impacting friendships and family ties to devastating romantic relationships, studies have shown that watching porn affects much more than just the viewer.
In fact, studies have shown that even just the occasional porno can leave a person feeling less attracted to their partner. When someone chooses to indulge in pornography often, however, they are much more likely to be upset with their partner’s looks, willingness to try new and more risque sexual acts, and their overall sexual performance.
What causes all of the negative feelings against yourself and your partner? The fact that porn is a highly fictional, heavily edited version of sex. From scenarios to the act itself, no scene in a porno is something you can live up to. These scenes are meticulously shot and re-shot.
From lighting to make up to tiny tweaks and alterations, costumes, wigs and director calls, every aspect of porn is fake and misleading. No one shot is an organic, true expression. It’s all very intentional.
Then we get to the actors themselves. While it’s true that porn actresses tend to undergo surgery more often than their male counterparts, everyone is airbrushed and photoshopped into perfection.
But porn doesn’t just affect how you perceive your partner’s looks or your partner’s insecurities.
Because porn is so focused on men, it gives them an unrealistic expectation of what their partners should be willing to do. One study found that 9/10 of the most popular pornos depicted women being physically or verbally abused.
In the videos, women faced with these violent and degrading acts were at worst neutral. Many behaved positively to it.
Porn viewers’ partners say that they are often asked to perform acts straight from pornos that they aren’t comfortable doing, or that they find unacceptable or demeaning.
When interviewed, college-aged women reported that they felt that they weren’t allowed to ask for what they wanted and that they felt they could never measure up to porn stars.
It has even worse emotional complications. While watching porn may not seem like a big deal, women tend to build relationships on love, honesty, respect, and trust. When she discovers that her partner is watching porn, most of which glorifies the exact opposite (infidelity, aggression, abuse, and disrespect), it makes it that much harder for her to trust her partner.
The effects of watching porn while in a committed relationship are terrible. Pain associated with partners watching porn have incredible consequences.
Many studies have found that when women find out their partners have been viewing porn while in a committed relationship, they feel angry, devastated, mistrustful, betrayed, and even experience a sense of loss. Many of these women display physical symptoms of depression and anxiety. Even worse, some show outward signs of PTSD and others still become suicidal.
If you’re watching porn, not only do you run the risk of leaving your partner feeling ugly, unwanted and depressed, you also leave them in a state of isolation. Most women won’t reach out to their support systems and almost all of them blame themselves.
So if you want to join the fight, spread the word. Grow love. Form meaningful relationships. Don’t give up a loving, romantic relationship for a momentary bit of gratification.
There is enough credible research to prove that porn has a negative impact on people’s relationships. Porn can create tension between people involved in a relationship. After watching and viewing enough porn, it can sabotage the intimate connection that people in a relationship share. While viewing porn may initially seem harmless, it can lead to a destructive watching cycle that causes unhealthy habits to develop. There is a structured process that porn viewers go through that causes porn to take control and damage the bond of a relationship. Here is a look at the steps in the porn relationship sabotage formula.
Porn Is A Daily Presence
Once porn has invaded someone’s life, it has a tendency to stick around. Today, there is more interest in the issue of pornography than ever before. In today’s landscape, porn is readily available free of charge to anyone who has a computed or smartphone. It’s widely assumed that everyone watches porn, and the more important issue has become when does the viewing start. The addictive aspects of porn go beyond the person viewing it. Your friends and family are also impacted by the amount of hours that are spent watching porn. Before you are aware, watching porn can go from a hobby to an obsession.
The Viewer Tries Not To Acknowledge It
Most people are afraid to be candid about watching porn in order to receive the help that they need. Porn can plant itself in the mind of a viewer, influencing their desires to continue watching more and more of it. After a while, viewers believe that watching porn isn’t unhealthy at all and soon they have developed a habit and are afraid to talk about it. That is a major reason why porn addiction is so tough. The more people try to keep it hidden, the more it begins to consumer them. By ignoring it, the burden becomes larger, which damages relationships.
Porn Causes Secrets In A Relationship
People who view porn while they are in a relationship likely hide their habit from their partner. They may try to justify their habit or saying that it isn’t a big deal that they watch porn, but if that were the case, would they go to lengths to hide it from their partner? As a result of viewing porn, people may lose their connection to their partner. The viewer may find that porn is making them lonely and their partner may begin to feel inferior. The type of behavior that can happen due to the secrecy of hiding porn can ruin the physical and emotional bonds in a relationship.
Porn Leads To Objectification
Watching porn can change the way people view others around them. Instead of looking at people as humans with different thoughts, feelings, and emotions, porn causes viewers to look at people around them as just body parts. This is one of the more serious problems of viewing porn; that it teaches viewers to objectify the human body. This type of objectification creates unrealistic expectations in relationships. The sex life of you and your partner can be negatively impacted by the perceptions and desires of viewing porn.
A Continuous Cycle Develops
Viewing porn can lead to issues in sexual performance, as well as a less satisfying sex life. Porn has been shown to cause erectile dysfunction for male viewers. Porn viewers also feel a high level of sexual anxiety and have problems performing in bed. A popular misconception is that viewing porn leads to more and better sex, when it actually leads to a decreased ability to enjoy sex in real life. Porn causes the brain to become aroused through sex on a computer screen, which causes problems once the viewer tries to engage in physical intimacy themselves. That leads the viewer back to watching porn, which starts the cycle all over again.
It’s become much more common knowledge that pornography can get into your head and warp your brain. While many try to claim that porn is a harmless form of entertainment, it actually affects many just like a drug. However, did you know that it can affect not only how you view yourself, but how you view your partner as well?
And the devastation doesn’t end there. It can even impact your current and future relationships. And we don’t just mean friendships! This impacts your sexual performance, body image, intimacy, perceptions of sex, and so much more.
Sex is an amazing and fundamental part of any loving, lasting relationship. It’s a way you can physically connect with the person you love most, and that sort of bonding can be an absolutely freeing experience. It only gets better for everyone when you aren’t worried about being self-conscious. You can enjoy sex with you partner as you both are, just the two of you in love.
Porn can take this beautiful, intimate act and turn it into a loveless performance. When you try to reenact or replicate something you’ve seen in a porno, you’re no longer connecting with your partner – you’re just trying to “get off”.
So much less emotional bonding happens when you treat sex like a porno. It doesn’t imply commitment or love. It doesn’t include loving, passionate kisses, or comfortable cuddling.
Possibly the worst part is that you start to see your partner as less than. Sure, they’re attractive, but they’re not porno hot. This leads to insecurities on your partner’s part.
Maybe you start needing to watch porn with your partner to stay interested or finish. You may even end up suggesting that the two of you watch porn together, which will only make insecurities worse.
But porn doesn’t just affect how you see your partner. It also affects how you see yourself.
Of course, no one really wants to be compared to others anyway, but it can be especially upsetting when you’re being compared to porn actors. Just look at the how, with the increase of pornos being watched, there has been an increase in women getting plastic surgery. And now, men are as well.
To make matters worse, when a woman is feeling down and insecure and is exposed to porn, they tend to engage in behaviors that make them feel very uncomfortable and are more likely to allow degrading behaviors and sexual violence!
But porn doesn’t just affect women. Men get insecure, too. If you think that watching a porno will make a man cool, or help him to feel more sexy or manly, you are dead wrong.
Both gay and straight men who watch porn were found to consider their bodies “dissatisfying”. In straight men, watching porn led to anxiety about body issues, and many gay men had higher odds of developing eating disorders.
It’s so important that you choose love over pornography. When you do, you tell your partner that you love them just as they are. You also love yourself for who and how you are. Building up a relationship with someone who loves you and wants to share their life with you is so much more important that temporary gratification.
If you’re already a convert and want to help out, share our message. And remember, condemn the porno not the viewer!
When people hear that watching porn can be harmful to them for the first time, many scoff. Oftentimes they make comments about no one getting cancer from or going homeless over porn.
To an extent, these skeptics are right: Pornographic won’t yellow your teeth or cause liver failure. It certainly won’t cause the direct death of anyone.
So then what exactly does it do that’s so bad? How is it such a harmful thing for us?
And we don’t just mean romantic relationships, either. We mean that it will affect all types of relationships. Pornography will affect your relationships with your family, friends, classmates and even co-workers.
This is because when someone has an addiction, they have addictive behaviors. These addictive behaviors cause them to act out in every aspect of their lives.
When the US Congress asked Dr. Jill Manning (a therapist who has helped many porn addicts) a few questions about the impact of porn addiction, they couldn’t have expected the answers she would find.
For starters, people who watched porn for regularly and for a long time ended up feeling empty inside and depressed. Though this may seem dramatic, science backs it up. When your brain realizes it can get cheap, artificial stimulation for pleasure, it stops producing endorphines when you do daily activities that you used to find enjoyable.
Basically, you become desensitized and numb.
Next, we must dispell the myth that watching pornographic videos somehow makes you a better lover, improves your sexuality, or makes romance with your partner even more exciting.
Between countless studies and personal accounts, we now know that porn creates less intimacy between partners, less romantic excitement, and less satisfaction from real life sexual situations. To top it off, it also feeds into your cravings for more and more pornography.
Studies done at Dartmouth has shown that even just simple things such as movies, books, and songs that depict “racy scenes” can lead to “earlier sex with more casual parnters and unsafe sex.” If a simple risque song can have this sort of an impact, what sort of an impact can pornography have?
Porn breeds an unhealthy and unrealistic expectation about sex, a deemphasis on love, and an unnatural emphasis on unrealistic beauty standards – for both men and women.
Being addicted to porn is like being addicted to anything else. Maybe they don’t share the same side effects, but they do share the same behaviors.
An astounding 70% of porn is watched during the hours of 9AM and 5 PM – when most teens and adults are either at work or school. It’s not hard to realize that people are calling in or playing hooky to watch these sorts of videos.
Even worse and more damning is that the FBI has released its own set of statistics. An unbelieavble 80% of sexual perpetrators of violent sex crimes had pornography at their home.
But don’t feel discouraged. There are many people who turn their backs on porn and learn to cultivate their own appreciate and comfort with real human bodies. Those who choose to abandon porn for love and happiness also tend to be more likely to have healthy, happy relationships.
Remember, with love anything is possible. It conqueres all!
It is hard to deal with pornography. It is everywhere on the internet. Thankfully, if we are aware of our moral weaknesses as people, we can deal with them more effectively. There are some useful strategies that can be applied to preventing excessive distraction. It is partly up to the individual to decide whether they want to take responsibility for problems.
1. Limit Exposure To Internet
Just by itself, the internet can be a big addiction. The internet allows us to access information easily and quickly. Sadly, many of the information on the internet is false or obscene. Obscene information destroys are capacity to think clearly. It makes us emotional reasoners who are not able to make wise decisions. Just like with alcohol, porn destroys brain cells. If you have your own smartphone or laptop, consider adding filter software to prevent porn. Some addicts even go so far as to throw out their electronic device. Although that might seem extreme, it is better than being so hooked on obscene material that the rest of life is in shambles.
2. Get A Normal Boyfriend Or Girlfriend
The teen years are the time that many young people begin practicing their intimate relationships. It is unhealthy to randomly begin and then disengage from an intimate relationship. Try group dating. This gives you accountability without the pressure to perform. Many dating activities are funner when you have a group of people and their friends who you are going out with. Once you have established a special someone, it is important to practice working and committing to that person exclusively. Tell them if you have a problem with porn. Most young people probably do at some point in time.
3. Be Accountable With Authorities
Authorities are designed to protect us from the consequences of poor decision making. They have rules in place that show us what to do. They punish us when we fail to obey. Have several authorities in your life that can guide you. This might be a teacher, a parent, or even a smart peer. Share with them when you are struggling in the area of sexual morality. Your education and career prospects will be higher if you are not held down by a poor habit.
Sometimes just having more to do can help keep us from making mistakes. Work also provides money that can be used to pay for the expense of having a boyfriend or girlfriend. Many parents are more willing for their children to have a boyfriend or girlfriend if their child is working. A good resource to go to look for jobs is Craigslist.
Handling life and a struggle with a porn addiction is easier when it is handled with the help of others. There are many normal people around you who are struggling with the same things that you are. The key to getting fixed is to be honest enough to admit the problems you are facing to safe people.